Among The Stars (Heinlein's Finches Book 2) Read online

  We get through the shows alright – just. Nobody gets trampled to death, anyway, though some of the animals seem determined to mess us about. I feel so much better when they’re all safe back in their stables, until I remember what’s coming next. Talking to strangers isn’t my favorite thing. I got paired up with Alya, though. Hopefully she’ll do the talking.

  “Do you get many visitors back here?” I ask her.

  “Depends. We will tonight, if he’s bringing the whole family.” I don’t need to ask her who ‘he’ is. “There’s enough of them to start a commune. People will see them coming in and will want to follow them. Nobody wants to be first and nobody wants to miss out.”

  “How long have you known each other?”

  “Three years. This is my fourth time here. He’s known Kolya forever, though. His family has always supported the circus. His mother was particularly keen.”

  “Did she change her mind?”

  “She died. When he was little. It was hard on all of them. I never met her, but she sounds like a lovely lady. Kolya adored her, but then he adores all of them. He’s a bit biased. And pushy.”

  “You two do look good together.”

  “Don’t you start!” she snaps, but she looks pleased.

  “Have you listened to any of that stuff he gave you today?”

  “Some.” She smiles. “It’s very good. He tries to show off, find stuff I couldn’t possibly have heard before, but it’s always very good. It’s a game we play: who can find the most obscure, weirdest, brilliant music. He always wins, unless I cheat.”

  “How can you cheat at that?”

  “Easy. Compilations. I can find twenty tunes over five centuries that tell the same story, or express the same emotion. He’s too easy to impress with that trick.”

  The show music cuts out and she stands a bit straighter. “Here goes. Remember, no slouching or swearing or letting people die.”

  “Encouraging. Helpful.”

  “Truthful. Here they come.”

  Raj’s family descends upon us first, a bunch of little kids racing up to Alya, laughing, shrieking, and calling her name.

  She smiles and hugs them even as she tells them off. “Stop, you little horrors. You’ll scare the animals!”

  “Sorry, Alya,” they chorus, then rush off to do the same with Nicky.

  The grown-ups don’t take long to catch up with them. I can’t get over how wonderful they all look. Their clothes and jewelry look even fancier close up. A blonde, pale lady rushes up to Alya and kisses her. They beam at each other, holding hands, as the rest of the family files in. Raj comes in last, smiles at me, and comes to stand beside me.

  I smile back. “That’s quite some coat you’ve got on.”

  He looks terminally embarrassed. “Yeah, I know. I look ridiculous. But it’s traditional and it makes my dad happy.”

  “Nah, you look great. You all do.”

  “You sure?”

  I shake my head at him. “As if my opinion mattered. She likes it.”

  “How do you know?”

  “She’s hardly looked at you. She greeted everyone but you.”

  “What? That makes no sense.”

  “How old are you? I mean, I’m 16 and I’m crap at this, but even I know that. Tom’s the expert.”

  “Maybe I’ll have to ask him for some pointers, then.”

  “Maybe you should.”

  “Have you tried your guitar yet?”

  “No time today. Have you brought your bass?”

  “Yup. Getting Uncle Kolya to take out his violin will be a struggle. It always is. But it’s worth it. He’s great.”

  “Why doesn’t he play, then?”

  “He’s not as good as he wants to be. That’s part of it, anyway.”

  Raj finally manages to catch Alya’s eye and smile at her. She flashes him a brief, panicky smile, then looks away again.

  He nudges me with his elbow. “So that’s good?”

  “You don’t know? Honestly? I thought the only point of getting old was that you get a clue in the process.”

  “That is cold. But no: you never get a clue. Ever. And you have to pretend that you do, all the time. Have fun growing up knowing that, sucker.”

  Yeah. I like this guy.

  Alya was right about how busy we were going to get. Raj’s family gets effectively pushed along and out of the stables by the throng following them. By the time everyone has gone through, it’s dark outside. We settle the animal down and close up by the lights of the big top. When we get out, we find Raj sitting on Nicky’s bunk steps.

  “Uncle Kolya.” He gets up and they hug until Nicky pulls away.

  “I look at you. You look well. All your family look well. But you more.”

  “You’re biased. You’ve always been biased.”

  “Pah! All you kids come here, all want to ride horses. Only you want to feed them, clean them, care for them.”

  “Kolya, I was what, six at the time? Seven?”

  “Yes. Start out good. Grow up good. I am proud of you.”

  “You have to stop it now or I’ll be embarrassed.”

  “Not my problem. You stay, you have drink?”

  “If it’s not too late for you. Late finish tonight. I might, though… Are you going to play?”

  Kolya shakes his head. “I cannot remember. I do not practice. You play.”

  “It’s a bit pointless for me to play rhythm if nobody is playing melody.”

  Kolya sighs. “Tonight I am tired. Maybe tomorrow. But tonight you stay? You drink?”

  “If I drink, I will have to stay the night. I can doss in my ATR. Can I plug in? I can run the life support off the battery, but then if I break down on the way back I could run into problems.”

  “Yes, sure! You hungry? I cook.”

  “I don’t need to be hungry to eat your cooking, but please don’t do this just for me. You’ve had a long day. I haven’t. I came here for your company, not your cooking. I did bring something to drink, though. Just in case. Let me get myself plugged in before we start, ok?”

  Nicky slaps him on the back. “We go now. We fix.”

  Once they’re out of earshot, Tom mumbles at Alya “So, what’s the deal with that?”

  “Kolya’s known Raj since he was a child. They’re rather fond of each other.”

  “No, I mean with him sleeping in his ATR.”

  She goes rigid. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I thought the two of you…”

  “That would be none of your business.”

  “But why isn’t he…”

  “Stop right there. Not your damn business.”

  “It just seemed like…”

  “Tom. Cut. It. Out. NOW.”

  “Ok, ok.”

  I’d prefer not to spend the evening cleaning up Tom’s guts off the floor, so I change the subject. “I’m going to get the guitar out, unless it’s a problem.”

  “I can’t see how it could be,” says Alya. “If Raj doesn’t want to show you, then he won’t. He’s nice, but he’s not a pushover.”

  “Ok.” I drag Tom off with me, just in case.

  As I’m heading out of my bunk with my guitar, he gives me a weird look.

  “Are you really going to hang out with them?”

  “What? Yeah. Aren’t you?”

  “I was thinking of seeing what the dancers are up to. I mean, they might need help settling in or something.”

  “Yeah, sure. Poor, lost, lonely girls.”

  “Precisely!” he grins. “So, are you in?”

  “Sometimes you creep the fuck out of me. Literally. Even if I fancied preying on the feeble and confused, which I don’t, the girls will keep. I don’t know if I’ll get to see Raj again.”

  “But you can’t bang him. Well, you could, maybe, but you wouldn’t.”

  “I’ll survive. You go see the girls.”

  “You’re a bloody useless wingman.”

  “I’ll come tomorrow, how�
��s that?”

  “The boys may have already got in there. Plenty of guys around.”

  “On their second night here?”

  “Well, I hope to.”

  “And I wish you good luck. But I’m going that way.”

  “Disappointing, on so many levels.” He walks off.

  It’s probably the best evening of my life. I’m a bit uncomfortable at first, very aware of how I’m squeezing myself into a group of people who already have very close ties and don’t get to see each other much. I’m ready to clear off at the first sign of being in the way, but it doesn’t go down like that.

  Kolya adores Raj at least as much as he does Alya, but he seems more sentimental about him, or more willing to be openly sentimental, anyway. I guess Alya’s a bit too much of a hard-ass for that. Raj adores them both, though hardly in the same way. Alya doesn’t do a very good job at pretending she’s not smitten. But they all like each other as people, too, and they all care for each other.

  I wonder if this is what families are supposed to be like.

  Even though I don’t belong, they make me welcome. Raj takes the guitar and starts to show me the basics, with Alya pestering him, clearly enjoying herself.

  “Why are you teaching the poor guy open chords? Strumming? Did he do something wrong to you?”

  “If he learns to strum he can play with Uncle Kolya.”

  “If he learns to fingerpick he can play by himself.”

  “If he learns how to hold an instrument with you two teaching, it will be a miracle!” sputters Kolya.

  “It would be easier if you got your violin out,” smiles Raj. “Then I could show Luke what I mean.”

  “Too late. And I am too old. Hands are not good. Too much shoveling.”

  “Please?” Raj looks at Nicky pleadingly until he throws his hands up.

  “Ok! But no complaint when it’s shit!”

  He comes back from his bunk a few minutes later holding a smaller instrument with four strings. He holds it out to me. “This is violin. Wonderful instrument. It can sound like angels crying. It can sound like cats dying. For me is cats. You blame that boy. He does not listen.”

  Raj shakes his head at him. “I listen, Uncle Kolya. I listened to you play when I was a kid. This is all your fault. I could have taken up sports.”

  “Pah. Maybe you remember this.”

  Nicky plays for a few seconds, then stops. Raj nods at him, then starts to play on the guitar. When Kolya starts to play, everything else melts away. I don’t know how long he plays for. He plays everything that is good and bad and beautiful and painful in the world, and all I can do is sit there with my mouth hanging open, letting it all go through me. When they stop I feel as if my brain’s leaked out of the back of my head, and I don’t care.

  “Well, you made the kid happy,” murmurs Alya.

  “You like this?” asks Kolya. I can’t speak, so I nod.

  “We play one more, ok? Maybe something not for tourists.”

  They play more than one more. They play until Kolya finally gives up.

  “Enough! My hands are tired. I am too old.”

  “You just need another drink,” says Raj.

  “Is nearly time for alarm. I go to bed. You too!” He points at me. “Late for you. Work tomorrow. Come on!”

  I want to thank Raj, but I don’t have the words, so I just nod.

  He smiles up at me. “Is it ok if I hold on to your guitar? I’ll give it back to you first thing.”

  “Yes. Of course! I mean, it’s yours, really.”

  “It isn’t now and it never was, but thank you. Good night.”

  I can’t help but notice that neither Alya nor Raj are making any moves to go to their respective ATRs. I hope they figure it out.

  In the morning, as soon as the life support alarm goes off, I race out to beat Tom and Kolya to the ‘fresher. As I’m bolting out of my door, I can’t help seeing Raj creeping out of Alya’s. When I smile at him he looks like a kid caught out doing something naughty. He legs it off site so fast I can’t help laughing.

  That evening Raj comes to pick Alya up and take her to his house for that reception. Jameson could have taken her along, but he left before the second show even started. Alya insisted she needed to be here in case there were any problems. She could have driven herself, but then she couldn’t have a drink and drive back. Raj also fetches her back, though, which just makes no practical sense at all. I think it has a lot more to do with them wanting to be alone together than with anything else.

  While Alya’s busy changing out of her dress, Raj sits next to Kolya with a smile so big his face looks about to split.

  “You should see her. Only person I know who can follow everything Lara has to say when she’s talking shop. Only person I know Lara bothers to talk shop with, really. Sitting there, pretty as a painting, going on about the genetics of algae like it was nothing. And then playing with the kids. Kolya, you should see her with the kids! They love her, but they never mess about around her. And they’re no better than I was at their age. I love to see her with them. I just love to see her, really.”

  Kolya pats his knee. “She is a good woman. Not perfect, but you don’t want perfect. You want perfect for you. She is too hard, maybe. Too sharp. But her heart is good. Brain, too. I think you are good for each other. You make her soft, one day.” He sighs. “I am so happy. My two favorite kids.”

  Raj shakes his head. “It’s not sorted yet. She’s not said yes.”

  “But she doesn’t say no!”

  “That’s because I haven’t asked. I haven’t given her the chance.”

  “Maybe you wait. Maybe soon you don’t need to ask.”

  “I hope so.” He looks momentarily terrified, but then Alya comes out of her ATR and smiles at him.

  “Uncle Kolya, I am so screwed,” he whispers.

  It doesn’t put him off spending the night again, though.

  Our lives settle into a pattern. We take care of the animals in the morning. Tom spends his lunchtimes drooling over the dancers, while I try to convince my guitar to make the sounds I hear in my head. In the afternoon we deal with the shows and after-show visits. In the evening Tom goes back to his dancers and I watch three of my favorite people enjoy each other’s company. Raj has stayed here every night. Kolya hasn’t mentioned it, but he’s clearly so happy about the development that he could burst. Alya and Raj are still acting as if nothing’s going on. Raj knows that I know, but we’ve not spoken about it. The only person who’s said anything about it to me is Tom.

  “The lady who runs the café says that Alya and Raj are banging.”

  “How is that any of her business?”

  “It’s not, I guess, but that’s the story. She asked me about it. They all want to know.”

  “Who’s ‘all’?”

  “The artists, mostly. I haven’t really spoken to the boys much. Half of them can’t even speak English. Boys and artists all eat at the café – the food is part of their pay. We’re the only ones having to scavenge for ourselves. Well, us and the real bigwigs. You don’t see Jameson’s lot eating there. But most people do, and the girls sit with the artists, so I got to speak to them a bit. The ones who speak to me.”

  “Eh?”

  “They class us as boys.”

  “So what?”

  “Some of the artists won’t speak to the boys. Unless it’s to give them jobs, anyway. They don’t need anything from me, so they ignore me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because they’re a big deal in the show and I’m not.”

  “That sounds crappy. You work your ass off. So do the boys. Without them there’d be no show.”

  “There’d be no show without artists, either. The boys are replaceable.”

  “I guess. But isn’t everybody?”

  “Harder to replace someone famous. I wish we could watch the show.”

  “We should ask Kolya.”

  “You call him that too, now?”

  I blink.
“I guess. It just kind of happened. He doesn’t seem to mind. Alya and Raj always call him that, so it kind of stuck.”

  “You realize you’re fucking up big time, right?”

  “What?”

  “You’re spending all your time on those three. You may never see Raj again once we move from here.”

  “I’m sure he’ll come visit while we’re on planet.”

  “Maybe he will and maybe he won’t, but once we’re off, that’s it. And I’m willing to bet Alya won’t be coming with us, either.”

  “What?”

  “What would you rather do, work your ass off minding someone else’s show, having to pander to a guy who spends half his time screaming his brains off, or live in luxury in exchange for occasionally sucking a rich guy’s dick? Not a bad looking guy, either.”

  “It’s not like that! I think they really love each other.”

  “Even more so. What would you do in her position?”

  I’d never thought about it. “Stay with him, I guess.”

  “There you go. So your best buddies will fuck off and leave you here, where you only know two people. Assuming Nicky doesn’t go with them. It’s not as if Raj couldn’t afford to feed an extra mouth.”

  I don’t know what to say. I’d not thought about any of this. Tom sees my expression and slaps me on the arm. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you. When you decide to stop being a dick, I can introduce you to everybody I know. Which is most people worth knowing.”

  I guess that should make me feel better, but it doesn’t. I hadn’t really worked out what travelling with a circus means. I really like Raj and I won’t be seeing him for nearly a year, if I ever see him again. And I like Alya, too. She’s still hard as nails and twice as sharp, but she’s softened a lot around Raj. But none of this is permanent. I can’t hold on to anything I can’t take with me. That makes me feel powerless.

  I also feel shitty about Tom. I’ve been spending none of my spare time with him. We work together all the time, so it’s not as if we’re not getting a chance to talk, but it’s not the same as hanging out. I’ve been kind of a dick to him and he’s my best friend. Good thing he keeps his eyes on the ball and doesn’t hold grudges. Not against me, anyway.